Not to presume your situation, but: In cases where parents donโ€™t allow/accept protest and confrontation, the feelings that were meant to be expressed outwards get turned inwards instead. Like branches of a tree, theyโ€™ll grow in one direction or another. Itโ€™s called internalisation (as a result of self-suppression).

I used to work in this area and I hope you can find someone skilled and compassionate to talk with because this is workable.