i hate that i actually feel jealous easily . i know its a bad trait and i should get rid of it , but its hard .
whenever my friends find other friends , my mind immediately thinks that theyre doing it not to socialize , but with full intent of leaving me personally . and i immediately tell myself "dont be stupid , theyre allowed to have other people" but its so hard to overcome these thoughts .
i had people leave me without explanation multiple times , including for others before . that really hurt and now im very wary of every move my friends make . i hate this but its been years and no talks , no therapy , nothing helped . but i dont want to be a control freak and forbid my friends from talking to other people . hughghhhhh . . .