recently, i started exaggerating joy to compensate for being so stoic. i hate being called nonchalant; and of that, people started thinking that whenever i'm excited it's a rare/special reaction. though when they know me longer, they know how stoic i look when i'm not hanging with them. they notice my laughs to be frequent only with them, they take it for granted, assume im forcing a smile to please them. i wish sarcasm disappeared, how come being 'real' requires limiting your expressions to a realistic amount? how come being 'real' requires showing your 'true' self 24/7?