vent:

I don't want to talk anymore. I don't want people to see md anymore. I don't want to disappear, what I really want to do is go back in time and never meet anyone so they don't have the displeasure of being associated with me. I dont hate taking up space, I hate that I occupy space within myself. my memories, my thought processes, whatever ducking mental illnesses I had, everything. I wish it were all gone. my personality isnt "interesting ", nothing is do or say sparks interest. I try to laugh and smile like everybody else does but they despise me. they don't react that way towards anybody else. all my friends were just tolerant of me just do they could feel better about themselves and feel "charitable". they thought of me as a lost cause from the very beginning.