daily banana cult teachings except here's all of them:

"The orange cult should not be trusted. They wish to undermine the banana god and Vlad. Do not let them win."

"Vlad is a banana cultist, but is also a calamity. Ensure that whatever fates occurs this reality because of him is one that benefits the banana cult"

"SteveYT is still alive. Do not let that orange cultist ruin our plans."

"YELLOWNORI IS A GOBSHITE"

"Oddteeth is still alive. Do not let that orange cultist ruin our plans."

"The kiwi god is always present, but they are weak."

"Do not worship bananas for they are symbolic. Worshipping bananas is heresy."

"Hold the pug rug close to your heart for he is a banana cultist. Marvel at him often"

"Read the rogul every day."


"Do not stab Vlad with a pen. It will not go well."

"Throwing sticks at people's heads may result in injury."

"Artificially Intelligent Destructive Explosive **redacted**'s basement is like a black hole, what goes in does not go out"