I don't want to grow old having regrets and not having got what i wanted,
but I don't know what I want nor what there even is to want in such a meaningless world and nothing that I would wish for can ever become reality.
What would I wish for?
I would just wish to turn back time to back when I was in kindergarden or elementary, back to when I was naive enough to think of humankind and my own existence as a whole as positive things and even though I wouldn't describe my self back then as remarkably happy I did enjoy the lack of grief, sorrow and the demise bringing awareness.
I would just play with my friends and siblings forever and ever and it would be a state worth keeping. But I can't. I'm cursed to move forward. I't just goes on and on until it won't. And then one day I will notice that my time up
and I will ask myself "Have I got what I wanted?" and I live in fear of my answer : "No, I have not"
It's cool though