my brain is so funny, what do you mean you'll be blank, uncooperative, take really long to come up with anything, improperly express myself repeatedly, and be the worst fucking thing imaginable. all i wanted is to be normal and be good, but no, bear the curse, fuck you, feel the mental rot as you try to maintain yourself, while envying those who are merely living their lives. my self-esteem is a literal metronome that ticks between "woah life is worth living yippee" to "bitch-ass can't do anything right FUCK YOU", let me live a life worth living free from this rot god damn it, i want it gone, i want it gone, i want it to be gone, i want it GONE, SCRAPPED AWAY, TORN AWAY, PLEASE ITS ALL I WANT, NO MORE. i seriously want to enjoy life again without being so self-aware of my issues AND NOT HAVING THEM IN THE FIRST FUCKING PLACE. ok enough ranting i'm eepy bweh