thanks a lot for the support.

it feels awful thinking that they may not support me. don't get me wrong, they are all good people who would never hurt me but the thing i'm most afraid of is them slowly distancing themselves.

there's just so much shit going on and it's like i have no ground under my feet. i can't rely on my family, my home, my friends, my countrt, any single person i've ever known, i can't even trust myself.
it's like i'm alone in a freefall.

looking out for reactions is a good advice, but none of them are bigots at all. they know i'm pan, most of them like my long hair, they probably wouldn't bat an eye if i just showed up wearing earrings one day, but i'm afraid openly talking gender, trying fem clothes and/or social (nevermind physical) transition is where i bet some would draw the line.
i've been literally talking about trans ppl with my closest friend for months now and it seems alright but i'm just so afraid.

idk, thanks again anywayanyway <3