people call me a negative nancy and what i've come to understand is that, apparently, i'm not allowed to be upset with my circumstances. yes, i understand that i earn a lot more than the average entry level minimum wage (~$19). yes, I understand that im living like the King of fucking Egypt compared to most people. do I want more than this? no. am I happy? FUCK NO!!!! I go to a job where my boss basically tells me im delirious for being upset at his abysmal "leadership". I clean up everybody else's shit and do everybody else's work because nobody is trained properly. they don't elect anybody other than me to train them. and then I come home and bow down to the person who beat me down at my most vulnerable moments and hurt everybody close to her. and im supposed to treat her like a saint because she's my biological mother. I constantly think about suicide. I constantly think about someone else taking my own life. I hate living like this and im tiredcof believing its wrong of me to FEEL.