ive been sighing a lot

also had a dream where this guy was asking me if i wanted to hook up with him

and usually i hate the idea, ive been SAd yk, but this time i felt so okay with it, i trusted him

dreams are centered around strong subconscious emotions btw..

they beat a guy to death in front of my high school once

now im in another country in uni

its much nicer living here but i feel like being exposed to all that violence for that long changes you too much to completely move on

like i know what psychology advises i do, but sometimes i protest against the voice in my head telling me to make the healthy choice

we should hang all people with avoidant attachment styles

the dark-funny, chaotic and absurd reality along with its hopelessness says that we all individually need to change so much about our routines to align with the inherit values of empathy, and to make significant change upon humanity. but the funny little truth that we can recognize as hopeful on an individual level is that if the environments do not risk harm upon us for the life continuing with these changes, it makes for a freer us. we are free of the subconscious guilt we receive from eating the flesh of innocent lives, it frees us from the weight of funding the slaveowners, it frees us from the hatred we develop towards the psychotics who hurt us with their own pain and it will free us from the sights of the many eyes of the rich. so many of our subscriptions are now only crippling crutches

everyone knows what i am but denial comes more familiar to all (including me chill)

feeelinnn so queeerrrr