I am foaming at the mouth because of my lack of connection, and I am pulling out strands of hair because I do absolutely nothing to change this. as a child, I was so openly pathetic despite my shame, and now I do nothing but swallow it to avoid exposing the ugly bits. I am looking for someone properly insane to befriend, but adults are just “proper” when I speak to them. is this the new normal? am I incoherent to you?