I was never afraid of death.

Once upon a time, I was suicidal. I thought of dying so often, the relief of it felt more like a memory.

That was a long time ago now.

I want to live long enough to show my boys to know who I am. I also selfishly want to be the one to make my wife happy. I want to grow old and watch them all do the things they're going to do.

Also, if I passed, I know I'd leave a hole in their lives. They'd get over it, but it would be tough. I don't want that for them.

I'm terrified of dying now.