I'm genuinely sorry to hear you are dealing with that, I hope you are able to access treatment of some form or another that is effective soon. I can delete my original post if you want/if this isn't bad enough to be allowed on here (not being sarcastic).

(My entire family is getting bombed in ukraine daily and i can't do shit about it, I get daily pain that makes walking painful, I have a history of seizures, psychotic episodes, randomly becoming ill and physically unable to eat for weeks at a time, and I haven't had a day since before I was a teen when I haven't felt like absolute shit psychologically. I will not physically be able to transition, and I am staring down the gunbarrel of a life that I do not want to lead at all as a result. I also wish that what I wrote above was the extent of my problems, trust me.)