I'm an anxious-attachement-style anxious-in-general needs-lots-of-reassurance hello-can-i-have-one-vibe-check-please boyfriend.
She's an autistic hard-to-read not-too-into-public-displays-of-affection very-in-her-own-head girlfriend.
We write each-other letters. That works really well! This, alongside long texts, is probably our most effective way of communication when my anxiety and her difficulty to express herself become too much.
There are no signs to indicate that she might be pulling back. Just this week she wrote me a beautiful handwritten love letter for my birthday with a super cute drawing inside, of herself with a birthday cake (she's a baker!).
No bad signs, in fact it's all very solid and beautiful when I take even just one step back to look at us.
But in the present, in the moment, sometimes the anxiety becomes so much, that I don't know how to exist anymore when I'm with her.
Previous abusive relationships have conditionned me to associate love with loss so much that (1/2)
She's an autistic hard-to-read not-too-into-public-displays-of-affection very-in-her-own-head girlfriend.
We write each-other letters. That works really well! This, alongside long texts, is probably our most effective way of communication when my anxiety and her difficulty to express herself become too much.
There are no signs to indicate that she might be pulling back. Just this week she wrote me a beautiful handwritten love letter for my birthday with a super cute drawing inside, of herself with a birthday cake (she's a baker!).
No bad signs, in fact it's all very solid and beautiful when I take even just one step back to look at us.
But in the present, in the moment, sometimes the anxiety becomes so much, that I don't know how to exist anymore when I'm with her.
Previous abusive relationships have conditionned me to associate love with loss so much that (1/2)