Post by dawood 🌟

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dawood 🌟 2026-07-07 07:32 🇳🇱

I’ve sort of internalised it on a deep subconscious level, so I don’t really think about it, but if I’m talking too much, I will, after a while, begin asking the other person how their day / week has been.

Not always though, sometimes it’s appropriate to keep going like if you just had a car accident or more positively just got back from holiday and are explaining how great it was.

I think this advice is super important to keep in mind for first dates, however.

Important to remember though, there are no real rules. Everyone has different preferences, I’m just giving what I think are general averages.

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wend 🌟 2026-07-07 07:55 🇫🇷

I like how you think. So it's less of a "mind game duel" and more of "making the other feel like you're interested in them", which sounds pretty good !

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dawood 🌟 2026-07-07 11:24 🇳🇱

Oh yeah, absolutely. I phrase it as a mind game duel only to sort of instill in people the importance of the principle.

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wend 🌟 2026-07-07 11:33 🇫🇷

Fair, fair !
Do you enjoy the study of body language, by any chance ? You sound like someone who would.

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dawood 🌟 2026-07-07 12:12 🇳🇱

I find the study of it kind of inscrutable, particularly the plague of body language experts there are online, but I am obsessed with it on a personal more intuitive level.

Basically, I get a lot more from people by their body language than the things they say.

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wend 🌟 2026-07-07 12:46 🇫🇷

Yeah, finding good info/ressources about it is a bother, I've read a few books about it and a lot was contradictory or vague.

It's not entirely useless, though, I've learned concepts and methods I didn't have, even if I didn't learn extremely specific information. (Which doesn't exist anyway, since everyone's BL is different).

Any tips ? I'm autistic, so I purposefuly try to train myself at it to compensate.

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dawood 🌟 2026-07-09 08:22 🇨🇿

Pretty sure I’m also autistic.

So I’m not sure if I can help. I found that I got really good at it around when I turned 30. I think I now see things most people don’t, but there are probably things I miss that most can see, I’m not sure.

The most important thing for me was learning that I didn’t have to understand why I thought that someone was feeling something. I’m a very logical thinker, so if I get an impression of something, and I can’t break it down to understand why I think it is true, I find that very difficult.

Body language is a very intuitive skill. Intuition is very much about not knowing why you have a certain feeling. It’s not verifiable, but it is has much more to tell us than logic.

So my only advice is to trust your intuition. It will be wrong, but the only way to make it stronger is to give it power over you, by listening to it. If you do that, you will gain more than any book can give you.

I think…

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wend 🌟 2026-07-09 10:28 🇫🇷

That sounds like a good tip ! I've always approached body language very intellectualy, and not intuitively. Perhaps this'll help, I'll give it a shot, thanks :)

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