Post by .frog 🌟

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.frog 🌟 2026-06-23 15:50 🇳🇱

hey everyone. i need advice. i feel a terrible gnawing excruciating urge to come out to more of my friends.
i feel like shit, i have almost noone to talk to about it, and if i do i feel like i'm
1. making the only person who knows uncomfortable
2. going to throw up
for some reason i feel like telling them would make me feel better but i know it won't, especially if they fucking hate me because of it.
maybe i'm just trying anything i can, grasping at straws for any kind of support from real people, i have no idea what the fuck is going on in my head at thus point.
not being able to act on my feminity in any way makes it so much worse. why would i tell them if i can't do anything about it.
i'm sorry for whining like a piece of shit on here again, i should really stop.
i have no clue what their reaction would be or what i should do.
fuck, i don't even have the balls to try anything feminine on. and it's like my life is slipping away.
they started kidnapping men in the streets to send to war.
i feel like im dying

tell them 40%

don't 60%

10 votes

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slur 🌟 2026-06-23 16:55 🇳🇱

This sounds like the clash of many mechanisms within your mind. You desperately need to be loved like everyone on earth and to be loved you have to be known for who you are, which means you really want to tell them. On the other hand, people have rejected, abandoned or discarded you when you've opened up to them and this uncertainty that this very much may happen again is terrifying to all of us. the one thing that frees us of this paralysis is embracing the very universal fact that we will only ever want people in our lives who have the capacity to love us for who we are, therefore the best way to optimize your chances of being loved is try to act as and express yourself as much as you can in every way possible, as it allows for your personality to breathe, it lets you explore your identity in relationships AND VERY IMPORTANTLY it filters out the people who dont have the emotional maturity to love you for who you are. BEST OF LUCK SISTER <333

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.frog 🌟 2026-06-23 19:57 🇷🇺

the thing i mentioned.. there's news the government started kidnapping and beating men half to death to make them sign the contract and get drafted and killed in the war. i'm so fucking scared. i'm turning 18 this year. i don't want to die without wearing a dress even once.

i don't want to die T~T

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wend 🌟 2026-06-23 16:39 🇫🇷

I a less dangerous context, I would urge you to tell your friends if you feel ready, and let the truth sort out real friends from fakes. But if it would put you in danger, it may be best not to.
Instead, I'll offer to be your friend instead :)
I know it's not much, but I'm MtF too, and perhaps we can chat and get along !

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wend 🌟 2026-06-23 16:50 🇫🇷

Also, being trans in a bad place is hell, you have every right to feel awful about it.
And just so you know, you don't come across as whiny, just...in pain :(

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.frog 🌟 2026-06-23 19:23 🇷🇺

thank you, just kinda felt like i was venting on here too much..

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drprostate 🌟 2026-06-23 19:15 🇺🇸

Your safety is the number one priority, and the most important thing you can do for your mental and physical safety is to not associate with ‘friends’ who you doubt will support you in all your feminine glory. If you do not feel safe to be yourself around them, then they are not your friends.

If you want to go slowly, I would suggest adding small feminine additions to your existing wardrobe, whether it’s a pair of small hoop earrings, some cute bracelets, or dainty rings, and sus out what reactions you get from people around you (if any). That way you can make a more informed decision on whether or not to tell them.

As a mental reminder, please remember that your identity is not more or less valid because of the acknowledgement of others. Do not let other people dictate your womanhood; it can be really hard being undercover, but have faith in who you are and let the universe gravitate you to people who will love you for who you really are.

Big hugs ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

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.frog 🌟 2026-06-23 19:53 🇷🇺

thanks a lot for the support.

it feels awful thinking that they may not support me. don't get me wrong, they are all good people who would never hurt me but the thing i'm most afraid of is them slowly distancing themselves.

there's just so much shit going on and it's like i have no ground under my feet. i can't rely on my family, my home, my friends, my countrt, any single person i've ever known, i can't even trust myself.
it's like i'm alone in a freefall.

looking out for reactions is a good advice, but none of them are bigots at all. they know i'm pan, most of them like my long hair, they probably wouldn't bat an eye if i just showed up wearing earrings one day, but i'm afraid openly talking gender, trying fem clothes and/or social (nevermind physical) transition is where i bet some would draw the line.
i've been literally talking about trans ppl with my closest friend for months now and it seems alright but i'm just so afraid.

idk, thanks again anywayanyway <3

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drprostate 🌟 2026-06-23 20:35 🇺🇸

Being true to yourself is one of the hardest decisions a human has to make, and there’s no way to go about it without disappointing some people which sucks (｀_´)ゞ

My pragmatic / callous advice as someone who was born into a very narrow minded culture, is to avoid making your gender identity a focal point of your personality, and just make the physical changes you want to. I think what rubs people up the wrong way is when a person they loved as a nuanced and multi-faceted individual, becomes one dimensionally fixated on their gender as a core part of their personality, and therefore focuses most of their identity on that. If you are still you and keep the chatter to only your most close people,even if your physical body changes you will likely not lose that many people.

I hate that it’s even something you have to think tactically about; hopefully one day people can cast away their prejudice
(*´꒳`*)

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